It takes two to tango and two to influence. Both the influencer and the person being influenced must want it to work and must invest in making it work. Consider the difference between leading and managing and different level of engagement before trying to influence anyone. In brief, leaders influence contribution and commitment while managers direct compliance.
Don’t make false trade offs between influencing and strengthening relationships. Do both. Influencing is about change. If you’re trying to influence someone to make a change they perceive as bad for themselves, that will hurt your relationship. Instead, build relationships by influencing people to make changes that are good for them and by helping them perceive the changes as good for them.
Good for them
Start with ideas that are good for the people you are trying to influence. This is about happiness. The secret of happiness is that happiness is good. Actually, three goods: doing good for others, things you are good at and good for yourself. If the idea fits one of these criteria, it is, in fact, good for the people you are trying to influence.
By Forbes contributor, George Bradt